Allow me to point out here that I will answer Ship!Anons in the AU where Seb shags everyone and is a huge slut.
A: Hah. Yes.
S: What, me and the silvery one?
A: No shit.
S: I should definitely be more opposed to this idea.
A: No. No, you shouldn’t. Git.
S: He has tried to arrest me.
A: And he looked good doing it.
A: Hah. Fine. At least I know I’m right.
S: If I’m not the best man, I quit working for Jim.
A: Of course, dear.
A: It’s oka-
A: The fuck is yo-
A: Apart from his idioti-
A: Only in cold weather.
A: They melt otherwise.
S: They deserve to die.
A: And it’s sticky. And horrible.
S: I hate marshmallows.
S: Yes, yes and yes.
A: Depends who it is. Shooting looks fun, though.
S: Is this going to be one of those in depth conversations about how slowly you’d kill everyone in your school? And that’s because it is fun.
S: I’m in.
A: I knew you would be.
S: Jesus fuck, please tell me that is me and Morstan.
A: I agree. Although my headcanon says you and Mary are siblings, so.
S: I don’t care. God.
A: You spoon, though. All the time.
S: In a platonic way.
A: Of course.
S: Damn right, of course.