The Second Most Dangerous Man In London

Allow me to point out here that I will answer Ship!Anons in the AU where Seb shags everyone and is a huge slut.

A: Hah. Yes.

S: What, me and the silvery one?

A: No shit.

S: I should definitely be more opposed to this idea.

A: No. No, you shouldn’t. Git.

S: He has tried to arrest me.

A: And he looked good doing it.

S: Shush.

A: Hah. Fine. At least I know I’m right.

S: If I’m not the best man, I quit working for Jim.

A: Of course, dear.

A: It’s oka-

S: NO.

A: The fuck is yo-

S: NO.

A: Apart from his idioti-

S: NO.

A: Jim?

S: Maybe.

A: Only in cold weather.

S: No.

A: They melt otherwise.

S: They deserve to die.

A: And it’s sticky. And horrible.

S: I hate marshmallows.

A: Jim?

S: Obviously.

S: Yes, yes and yes.

A: Depends who it is. Shooting looks fun, though.

S: Is this going to be one of those in depth conversations about how slowly you’d kill everyone in your school? And that’s because it is fun.

A: Yes.

S: I’m in.

A: I knew you would be.

S: Jesus fuck, please tell me that is me and Morstan.

A: I agree. Although my headcanon says you and Mary are siblings, so.

S: I don’t care. God.

A: You spoon, though. All the time.

S: In a platonic way.

A: Of course.

S: Damn right, of course.